Thanksgiving Day - Drunkstick Anyone?

So Thanksgiving day S stays home and is just going to drink, watch football and eat by himself. He’s totally content to do so. I have plans with Tracy and I think D has plans with her family too. I return home later that night by myself. I know both of them are there because their cars are in the driveway. My intentions are to come into the house, go to the bathroom to take out my contacts and do my nightly routine, then go into my room and hit the hay.

As I enter the house I hear scurrying and then D’s door slamming shut from the living room. I then hear two voices (male and female) in D’s room laughing and talking. I realize that it’s not Karl A.K.A. Sugar Daddy (because he never comes over) and it’s not Bob.

I go to bed and wake up and go to work on Friday. When I return home that night I get greeted by D.

[D]: Hey Cindy, how was your Thanksgiving?
[Cindy]: It was really nice
[D]: Did you spend it with Tracy and the boys
[Cindy]: Yes. It was great.
[D]: Can I ask you a question?
[Cindy]{Thinking}: UGH!
[Cindy]: Yes
[D]: Do you think a person can get so drunk that they can’t remember anything the next day?
[Cindy]: I’m sure that can happen
[D]: Because S was really drunk when I got home yesterday
[Cindy]:Oh, S can get that drunk for sure. I know that for a fact, he has had small parties here after bar hours and barely remembers coming home
[D]: Oh, ok….because last night he was telling me how hot I was and how he would throw me on the bed and….
[Cindy]: Did you and S sleep together?
[D]: OMG no, but I think he wanted to

So I leave it at that wondering if my two roommates got it on. Then it dawned on me…the other voice the night before it was S. Totally S. So they did sleep together or at the very least returned favors. Here is how it got confirmed for me. Later that same night after D had left S came downstairs to go to work.

[S]: Hey Cindy is D home?
[Cindy]: Nope, hey, I hear you got pretty drunk yesterday
[S]: Oh?...yeah I did. I just watched football all day and got trashed
[Cindy]: Fun times
[Cindy]{Thinking}: How can I get him to admit this? LOL
[S}: So did you talk to D?
[Cindy]: Yep, she said you were drunk and wondered if you’d remember anything today. She also said you were hitting on her a little bit. Too funny dude.
[S]: Yeah, she was hitting on me too though.
[Cindy]: Did you guys do it?
[S]: No, but she was asking me about if I was dating exclusively or not (FYI second time she's asked him that)
[Cindy]: Oh, I see
[S]: Ok, I gotta go….later
[Cindy]: Bye

So now I’m totally 100% convinced that they did something Thanksgiving night. So for anyone that’s keeping score, that’s another notch in D’s bedpost. ICK!

I don’t think that I can look S in the eyes anymore. I seriously hope that I never walk in on anything between them. If I do, I might just have to go blind! What I love is how they both felt the need to give me some strange cover story. Maybe more on this topic later…..

Overheard

Overheard one-sided phone conversation

[D]: Hello (pause) yes, how did you get this number? (pause) Yes, we can meet....how long will you be in town for?

If this doesn't cry out "mobile massage" i don't know what does!

Rubber Ducky

I know it’s been a long time since I blogged…it doesn’t meant that there is nothing to blog about though. D’s annoyances are at an all time high right now and there have been several occasions where I have thought that I should blog that. LOL

Those of you that know me know that I am seeing someone really special and she has been staying over from time to time at my house. We have been dating for almost 9 weeks now and although she is not over a ton it just never seems to fail that D will show up for at least part of it. I’m fortunate that Tracy (that’s her name) is so cool because otherwise D might have ruined my chances to have a normal relationship. It’s sort of like bringing a potential boyfriend or girlfriend over to meet your crazy relatives. In any regard, Tracy has overlooked my living situation and continues to date me.

One of the first mornings after Tracy stayed over D came home with Bob. Tracy was getting into the shower and I was hoping to join her. D sort of blocked the hallway as she was talking to me about her 5k run she just did. As excited as I was to hear about this (NOT), I kept trying to move past her to get to the bathroom. Finally I just had to say:

[Cindy]: D, Tracy is in the shower and I’d like to join her before she finishes.
[D]: Ohhhhhhh, I’m sorry.
[Cindy]: No problem, just move so I can get by you to the bathroom
[D]: Oh.

She moves and I’m able to get past her and down to the bathroom. I knock and go in and even though she is more than half finished by now I still join her and we laugh about what took me so long. I recapped the 5k run story and Tracy, just like me, is too impressed for words.

A few moments later we hear a knock at the door. I shit you not…a knock at the door of the bathroom that we are in. Tracy and I look at each other in disbelief about the lack of privacy.

[Cindy]: Yes
[D]: Can I crack the door I have a question for you
[Cindy & Tracy]{Mutually thinking}: WTF?!?!?!!? We’re in the shower together!
[Cindy]: Ummmmmm
[D]{Action}: Cracking the door
[D]: Hey, sorry to interrupt but are you going to be here tomorrow if Eric (who the frig is Eric???) comes into the backyard after 5:00PM to fix the fence?
[Cindy]{In total disbelief}: I won’t be here, but it’s fine if he comes into the backyard
[D]: Ok, I was just checking. Oh, are you both in the shower??? I’m sorry…..i’m just….i’m sorry….oh …I’m sorry…..ok, thanks.

Ok, there are so many things wrong with this I can’t even begin to tear it apart. Of course I’ll try. LOL.

· So first of all the fence….she backed into the fence and I asked her to get it repaired before winter. This was a month long thing – the reason I’m saying this is because why did she have to pick this particular time to inform me of this.
· Secondly, why do I need to be there if it’s in the backyard??? No key needed.
· Third, have you ever heard of a post-it?
· Fourth, did you not just hear me say I was going to join my girlfriend in the shower??
· Fifth, did I say “come in”
· Sixth WTF?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

I’m not really sure if I’m expressing in a way that will make everyone understand how insane this situation was. Like I said…thank God that Tracy is so cool. D has zero boundaries!