Officially Over

Ok, i know that i haven't blogged in a really, REALLY long time, but i just wanted to put it out there that i no longer have roommates living in my house. S moved out at the end of October and even though the house is still not sold, i am no longer dealing with craziness. I'm hoping to get back on here and recap the end of D and the end of S. Let's just say that i had to evict D because she was basically tricking from her bedroom in the house. Not a far leap from where she was headed in my last posts. It's a wonder what one can find out when one works from home a couple of days. I think there was exactly one hour between John #1 and John #2...both married by the way judging from the rings on their fingers. Maybe i should've just asked for a cut, business seemed good. LOL.

Currently, i'm living with Tracy and the boys and loving it. Being a co-parent is amazingly fulfilling, but at the same time a living situation that is humorous and, at times, crazy. Maybe i'll blog about that. It's pretty funny for me to be in this world of kids now.

Ta-ta for now.

Thanksgiving Day - Drunkstick Anyone?

So Thanksgiving day S stays home and is just going to drink, watch football and eat by himself. He’s totally content to do so. I have plans with Tracy and I think D has plans with her family too. I return home later that night by myself. I know both of them are there because their cars are in the driveway. My intentions are to come into the house, go to the bathroom to take out my contacts and do my nightly routine, then go into my room and hit the hay.

As I enter the house I hear scurrying and then D’s door slamming shut from the living room. I then hear two voices (male and female) in D’s room laughing and talking. I realize that it’s not Karl A.K.A. Sugar Daddy (because he never comes over) and it’s not Bob.

I go to bed and wake up and go to work on Friday. When I return home that night I get greeted by D.

[D]: Hey Cindy, how was your Thanksgiving?
[Cindy]: It was really nice
[D]: Did you spend it with Tracy and the boys
[Cindy]: Yes. It was great.
[D]: Can I ask you a question?
[Cindy]{Thinking}: UGH!
[Cindy]: Yes
[D]: Do you think a person can get so drunk that they can’t remember anything the next day?
[Cindy]: I’m sure that can happen
[D]: Because S was really drunk when I got home yesterday
[Cindy]:Oh, S can get that drunk for sure. I know that for a fact, he has had small parties here after bar hours and barely remembers coming home
[D]: Oh, ok….because last night he was telling me how hot I was and how he would throw me on the bed and….
[Cindy]: Did you and S sleep together?
[D]: OMG no, but I think he wanted to

So I leave it at that wondering if my two roommates got it on. Then it dawned on me…the other voice the night before it was S. Totally S. So they did sleep together or at the very least returned favors. Here is how it got confirmed for me. Later that same night after D had left S came downstairs to go to work.

[S]: Hey Cindy is D home?
[Cindy]: Nope, hey, I hear you got pretty drunk yesterday
[S]: Oh?...yeah I did. I just watched football all day and got trashed
[Cindy]: Fun times
[Cindy]{Thinking}: How can I get him to admit this? LOL
[S}: So did you talk to D?
[Cindy]: Yep, she said you were drunk and wondered if you’d remember anything today. She also said you were hitting on her a little bit. Too funny dude.
[S]: Yeah, she was hitting on me too though.
[Cindy]: Did you guys do it?
[S]: No, but she was asking me about if I was dating exclusively or not (FYI second time she's asked him that)
[Cindy]: Oh, I see
[S]: Ok, I gotta go….later
[Cindy]: Bye

So now I’m totally 100% convinced that they did something Thanksgiving night. So for anyone that’s keeping score, that’s another notch in D’s bedpost. ICK!

I don’t think that I can look S in the eyes anymore. I seriously hope that I never walk in on anything between them. If I do, I might just have to go blind! What I love is how they both felt the need to give me some strange cover story. Maybe more on this topic later…..

Overheard

Overheard one-sided phone conversation

[D]: Hello (pause) yes, how did you get this number? (pause) Yes, we can meet....how long will you be in town for?

If this doesn't cry out "mobile massage" i don't know what does!

Rubber Ducky

I know it’s been a long time since I blogged…it doesn’t meant that there is nothing to blog about though. D’s annoyances are at an all time high right now and there have been several occasions where I have thought that I should blog that. LOL

Those of you that know me know that I am seeing someone really special and she has been staying over from time to time at my house. We have been dating for almost 9 weeks now and although she is not over a ton it just never seems to fail that D will show up for at least part of it. I’m fortunate that Tracy (that’s her name) is so cool because otherwise D might have ruined my chances to have a normal relationship. It’s sort of like bringing a potential boyfriend or girlfriend over to meet your crazy relatives. In any regard, Tracy has overlooked my living situation and continues to date me.

One of the first mornings after Tracy stayed over D came home with Bob. Tracy was getting into the shower and I was hoping to join her. D sort of blocked the hallway as she was talking to me about her 5k run she just did. As excited as I was to hear about this (NOT), I kept trying to move past her to get to the bathroom. Finally I just had to say:

[Cindy]: D, Tracy is in the shower and I’d like to join her before she finishes.
[D]: Ohhhhhhh, I’m sorry.
[Cindy]: No problem, just move so I can get by you to the bathroom
[D]: Oh.

She moves and I’m able to get past her and down to the bathroom. I knock and go in and even though she is more than half finished by now I still join her and we laugh about what took me so long. I recapped the 5k run story and Tracy, just like me, is too impressed for words.

A few moments later we hear a knock at the door. I shit you not…a knock at the door of the bathroom that we are in. Tracy and I look at each other in disbelief about the lack of privacy.

[Cindy]: Yes
[D]: Can I crack the door I have a question for you
[Cindy & Tracy]{Mutually thinking}: WTF?!?!?!!? We’re in the shower together!
[Cindy]: Ummmmmm
[D]{Action}: Cracking the door
[D]: Hey, sorry to interrupt but are you going to be here tomorrow if Eric (who the frig is Eric???) comes into the backyard after 5:00PM to fix the fence?
[Cindy]{In total disbelief}: I won’t be here, but it’s fine if he comes into the backyard
[D]: Ok, I was just checking. Oh, are you both in the shower??? I’m sorry…..i’m just….i’m sorry….oh …I’m sorry…..ok, thanks.

Ok, there are so many things wrong with this I can’t even begin to tear it apart. Of course I’ll try. LOL.

· So first of all the fence….she backed into the fence and I asked her to get it repaired before winter. This was a month long thing – the reason I’m saying this is because why did she have to pick this particular time to inform me of this.
· Secondly, why do I need to be there if it’s in the backyard??? No key needed.
· Third, have you ever heard of a post-it?
· Fourth, did you not just hear me say I was going to join my girlfriend in the shower??
· Fifth, did I say “come in”
· Sixth WTF?!?!?!?!?!!?!?

I’m not really sure if I’m expressing in a way that will make everyone understand how insane this situation was. Like I said…thank God that Tracy is so cool. D has zero boundaries!

Pajamma Jam

So i have a guest over for an evening of movies and pizza. Mind you, it's the first time that my guest and D will meet.

D comes home and introduces herself to my guest as i was in the restroom at the time. I come in and double check that there have been introductions. D sits down at the table and is doing - who knows what? Eventually D goes into her room and changes to go out for the night. She comes back in wearing this short black dress. She interupts us and asks if she should wear a pearl necklace with it. I start busting up because all i can think is something that i can't even post on here. My guest tells me to be nice and says "go with the pearls".

So then D says from the other room:
{D}: Are you planning on having a sleep over tonight?

First of all....WTF?!?! Rude. Secondly, i had already mentioned to her that my guest was staying over. Thank god my guest and I had talked about it else i probably would've just died of embarrassment.

{Cindy}: Yes, i told you that already
{D} [From the other room]: Oh, ok....then i'll probably stay at SD's (Sugar Daddy's) or Bob's.

My guest and i look at each other....i get another "be nice" because i'm laughing my ass off.

So the next day D comes home and is still wearing the same dress. I don't think anything of it until i mention that to my guest later and she reminds me that she took a big duffle bag with her. Good call....i hadn't noticed that.

Obviously for all of your enjoyment i had to ask D about it. So i do...turns out she says that she went to the gym and her gym clothes were more gross than wearing the dress home from the gym. (doubt it Monica!). So we don't actually know what was in the big black duffle bag but one can assume it might have had something in it from NY.

Take a Bite Out of The Big Apple

D has gone on her trip to NY to go to the "sex club" with her sugar daddy. Let me define sugar daddy again here. He has paid for her baby sitting, reimbursed her for clothing purchases for the trip, limo to & from the airport, the plane ticket, the hotel, and walk around money for NY. Not to mention he'll obviously be footing the bill for everything that happens in the city including her sex shoppe souvenirs.

Watch out NY, D is going to take a bite out of you!

{D}: Hey Cindy, do you mind if I blow dry my hair while you’re in the shower [as she’s turning it on]
{Cindy}[Sighing]: Hey D, how was NY?
{D}: It was great, SD [Sugar Daddy] was amazing. You know he’s an ex porn star, right?

Remember people, I’m not making this up

{Cindy}: Ummmm, No
{D}: Well he is and he’s been with plenty of women and he told me that I’m one of the best
{Cindy}[Gagging – Saying Nothing]
{D}: Oh, and I have something to tell you
{Cindy}: What’s that?
{D}: Ok, there was this hot lesbian there…short hair smokin’ hot bod and she was checking me out the whole night.
{Cindy}[Thinking “oh no” – Saying Nothing]
{D}: So I was asking SD if he wanted me to invite her over to our “scene”. He said that I wore him out and that I could do what I wanted so I had her come over and Cindy, guess what? I went down on her.
{Cindy} [Shutting my eyes and wishing it all away]

I can’t speak right now because the image is now burned into my mind and I’m thinking of going straight. Seriously is she telling me this….and why? Because I’m a lesbian and this is what lesbians talk about in the morning in the bathroom??? WTF?!?!? Aren’t there some sort of gay police out there to keep out the riff raff??? UGH!

{D}: So you have nothing to say about that?
{Cindy}: Ummm….hi five? What am I supposed to say….good job?
{D}: Well, no, but I thought you’d be impressed
{Cindy}: Oooookaaaaaay
{D}: Well anyway, I didn’t stay down there too long but she said It was great. So by then there was this big crowd around us and even the security guard was flirting with me. He was this big black guy. I asked him if he wanted to do me…..

Okay at this point….i’m not really listening and am trying to figure out what the hell to even say. I’m not one to judge, but I’m really starting to judge her. Rather than go into too many details let me just say that the security guard “impaled the hell out of her”. I’m not even sure I should be writing this as it’s becoming pornographic.

I do fear that D is definitely progressing in the wrong direction. This is not the same woman that moved into my house back in June.

On a positive note, D finally cleaned out the fridge of her items that have gone bad….so I’m actually happy about that. Now I can officially bleach EVERYTHING in the house!

Review If You're New

For those of you that are just starting to read the blog...don't start here...do yourself a favor and take the time to go all the way back to the beginning and read from the start. It will make so much more sense going forward.

That being said....the saga continues....

There's No Place Like Home

I've probably skipped about 10 blogable conversations, but I definitely have to put this one out there.

At my work they were running a test to make sure that those of us that are set up to work from home CAN work from home. Sort of a disastery recovery check. My day was this past Tuesday and i was really looking forward to it. How cool to work in your pj's. D must have thought the same thing because she too was working from home......

{D}: Oh, you aren't going into work today?
{Cindy}: I am, but i get to work from home
{D}: Ummmm......oh.......o.....k.........
{Cindy}: Is there a problem with that?
{D}: No....not at all....it's just that i have someone coming over for a massage at 9:30AM.
{Cindy}[Action]: Looking up from loggin onto my computer
{Cindy}: What do you mean? For your Mobile massage?
{D}: Yeah, but he's a friend

Obviously i just caught her doing exactly what we had talked about before - not having clients to the house. A friend of mine told me that it usually takes 11 or 12 times of doing something before someone gets caught. Oh, great...how long has this been going on? At this point, i'm thinking web cams.

{Cindy}: I'm pretty uncomfortable with having strangers here. He's your friend and your client? How does that work?
{D}: Oh, i totally wouldn't leave them [*note the word THEM] alone in the house. I'm with them all the time.
{Cindy}: That doesn't matter, they could be staking the place out, getting the layout...or even hurt you.

Remember she's about 85 pounds soaking wet. I don't have a lot in the house, but still...it's my Mom's voice in my head that says "Stranger Danger". Gimmie a friggin break.

{D}: This guy is really cool....and he's smokin' hot...if he wasn't a client i would soooo do him.
{Cindy}: Again, i'm uncomfortable with this...do you even have a table in your room?
{D}: No, i just do it on the bed
{Cindy}: Of course

So the guy shows up...she quickly goes outside - probably to tell him that i'm there. Then they come back in and she says:

{D}: Go ahead upstairs, i'll be right there.

Ummmmm, so what happened to i'm with them all the time when they are in the house??? WTF? I decide that i'm going to talk to her about having clients but first want to talk to my boss about being able to work from home randomly to check on this. I think honestly, i'm going to tell her that i don't want her doing work from the house and if she gets caught again, i'm giving her a 30 day notice. It's rediculous! Again, i don't want to judge...but sheeeeesh, if you aren't doing anything wrong, then do it at their house...hence the verbiage "Mobile" massage.

On another note, as i was working i went ahead and cranked up the most non-relaxing music EVER in case it really was just a massage. Eminem, Dance tracks....continuous hip-hop beats! And loud too. Come tell me to turn it down....just try. LOL.

After an hour, they came out and left. Time for nanny cams i guess. UGH!

Mobile What???

Sorry it's been so long since my last update...that doesn't mean that D has let up on saying crazy things, just that i've been lagging. I have a few to get out there.

The shower/AM situation has not gotten any better, in fact it's worse. I guess when she's handing me a towel when my shower is over I've pretty much given up. Thank God for thick dark shower curtains. It's all about timing now...i'm in the shower, she comes in and does her hair....she leaves i can get out. UGH! On another note, i have removed all sharp objects from the house...at least within reach of me.

{Cindy}: Hey D what's the deal with why you are home during my bathroom time more and more. I thought you worked out in the early AM?
{D}: Oh, i know...it's just that i'm so tired from working nights
{Cindy}[Action]: Raising eyebrow
{Cindy}: Really? I didn't realize you had a job at night [trying not to laugh]
{D}: Yeah....it's mobile massage
{Cindy}: Wha?!?!?!!?
{D}: It's not what you're thinking, it's totally platonic. Most of the men are married. I have a boss [pimp?] and everything.
{Cindy}: How does that even work? You're not getting home until super early in the morning or not at all?
{D}: Well, sometimes there are more than one client
{Cindy}: So, you go to them then?
{D}: Yeah, usually they are businessmen and they are at hotels...they just get so stressed out.

Okay, so at this point, i'm thinking....ummmmmmmm....she seriously thinks i'm this stupid. She had been keeping super late hours...like being gone from 8:00PM until 2 - 3:00AM if she comes home at all. Now you all know that those married businessmen just want a massage, right? She had been bringing different guys ("friends") home prior to me hearing about this. I have to ask, right?

{Cindy}: Wait, this isn't an escort service, is it?
{D}: What?!?!? No! Why would you think that?

Why would i think that people? Am i insane?

{Cindy}: Well, if you were me and you were hearing this, you'd think the same thing.

Mind you, there is the whole NY sex club trip still coming up too, remember that.

{D}: First of all, i would never do that. I mean this one time this i got there and this guy was like "we're having sex, right?....you were just saying no before on the phone in case the cops were listening in".
{Cindy}: Did you turn and walk away from that one?
{D}: No, i just explained that it was no touching...well, only me touching them
{Cindy}: Well, i was just checking...
{D}:I can't believe you'd think i'd do that!
{Cindy}: Hey, i'm not here to judge, i just want to make sure that you weren't bringing something like that into this house.
{D}: OMG i totally would never put you or S in harms way
{Cindy}: Good, because i don't care what you do in your spare time but that is something i don't want going on in my house
{D}: No, OMG...no
{Cindy}: Ok then

So i leave the conversation at that in hopes that she gets what i'm saying. The next day she wants to talk to me and it's really important.

{D}: Hey Cindy
{Cindy}: Yeah
{D}: I need to talk to you about something important
{Cindy}: Ok
{D}: Yeah, i 'm really hurt that you think i would do that...an escort service
{Cindy}: D, If you were listening to all that you have said over the last few months you'd be thinking the same thing. Again, i'm not here to judge...i just don't want that crap in my house.
{D}: Well, i'm not doing that...and i'm upset that you think i would
{Cindy}: I'm sorry then...but honestly, i don't care what you do.
{D}: It's just not me and i didn't want you thinking that.

At this point i know she's lying to me. I can feel it in my bones. To keep things in the house amicable i smooth it over with a sincere apology, but obviously not 100% convinced that she is telling me the truth. Do you?

Access Denied

So i'm in the shower (don't get a visual) in the AM before work - and anyone that knows me knows not to talk to me in the morning....however.....

{D}: Hey Cindy, are you in the shower? [Opening the door slightly]
{Cindy} [Thinking]: WTF?!?!? Wrong on so many levels. The shower water is running who else is going to be in the shower? Seriously, it's a Tuesday morning...did one of her man friends get lost in the house. It's never the other roommate because he has his own shower upstairs.....my God is she really talking to me in the AM...."Silence....I kill you"....i wonder if i'll have time to get something for breakfast.
{Cindy}: Yes [duh?]
{D}: Oh, okay...i'm leaving you the rent in your room and it's in cash
{Cindy}: It's the 22nd? It's not due until the 1st.....
{D}: I know, but i want to get it out of the way
{Cindy}: K...thanks
{D}: Can you get me a receipt?
{Cindy} [Thinking]: Is she still talking to me? What happened to my morning quiet time when she used to be at the gym? What happened to the sanctity of the shower? Maybe doughnuts.
{Cindy}: Sure.
{D}: Oh also....
{Cindy}[Thinking]: Of course...My shower is now officially ruined!
{D}: I know it was late when you got home last night [1:30AM], but did you notice that the internet is down?
{Cindy}: I'll have to talk to S today and have him reset the Wi-Fi upstairs
{D}: Ok, cause i really need to be able to check my e-mail for my clients
{Cindy}[Thinking]: Wha?!? Huh?!? Who?!? She has taking whoring to a cyber level.
{Cindy}: I'll text him today
{D}: K, Thanks...i really...REALLY need to be able to check my e-mail.

Since she ruined my shower i have had half a mind to let the intenet access stay down for another day. Alas, i need it for myself to check my Farmtown on FB. Yes my life is that exciting! Oh...and school.

Darling I Love You, but Give Me Park Avenue!

So i'm enjoying the season opener of Survivor that i had DVR'd in peace and quiet when she comes home. UGH! Always on the cell phone talking loud, always bumping into walls with her numerous bags (she always carries like three bags - i dunno why), slamming the doors open and closed and then of course....acknowledging me.

{D}:Hey Cindy
{Cindy}: Hey D
{D}: What are you doing?
{Cindy}: Watching my favorite show EVER...Survivor [BTW, i was watching the TV in the living room with the TV on...not sure what else i could be doing, but i digress]
{D}: Can i come watch it with you?
{Cindy}: Sure [just shut up! "Silence....I kill you" - Ackmed the dead terroist - Jeff Dunham]

After a few short moments of watching it she says....
{D}: I know this is not game related, but that girl has a smokin' hot body...don't you think?
{Cindy}: Nope, she's too skinny for me

Now, what is she trying to do here, find common ground to talk to me about? She's not gay, she's not bi, i don't talk to her about these things. So i say what i say to quickly end the converstation. I know that D has been fishing since she moved in for me to think that she is hot beyond all hot...she can't stand it that her first lesbian friend doesn't find her attractive. It's become more of a game with me now, because the colder i am about it, the more she says and does things to try and make me notice her - i think it's more the things she says that kill me. LOL Maybe the guys out there might think D is "smokin' hot" but i just don't.

{Cindy} [Quickly changing the subject]: By the way, i might be out of town for a couple days next week - i'm just letting you know.
{D}: Ok, cool....oh, i'm going to New York all expenses paid...i'm so excited
{Cindy}[Action]: Pausing Survivor because now i HAVE to find out how this is happening Really?!? How did you manage that?
{D}: Well, this older guy friend i know.....
{Cindy}[Thinking] :Figures
{D}: ...has been asking me to go on vacation with him for a long time. He's paying for the flight, for babysitting [I'm assuming for her kids here], and a limo from the airport to the hotel.
{Cindy}: Awesome...is he taking you to see a show?
{D}: Well, no....he's taking me to an sex club.....at my request...it's an underground one
{Cindy}: That sounds nice
{Cindy}[Thinking]: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHORE!
{D}: Yeah, should be
{Cindy}[Thinking]: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHORE!
{Cindy}[Thinking]: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHORE!
{Cindy}[Thinking]: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA WHORE!
{Cindy}[Action]: Unpausing Survivor.

There is no way, NO WAY i'm going to engage in this conversation further. I know that sex clubs exist and all, and i'm not here to judge, and she can do what she wants....but i am now going to have a new house rule. D is no longer allowed in the Jaquzzi. Ick! Ack! Yuck! If you think that i won't tell her WHY....you are wrong, i will flat out tell her why. Hopefully it will be a conversation to blog about! Did i mention that as i was leaving to go out to the ballgame about 10 minutes after this conversation that she was right behind me going to a PTA meeting???

Cash, Check or Charge

{D}: Hey Cindy
{Cindy}: Hi D
{D}: Can i ask you a question?
{Cindy}: Ummm, yeah
{D}: Can i pay my rent to you in cash?
{Cindy} [Thinking]: Anything but crumpled singles
{Cindy}: Sure
{D}: Great, because most of my clients pay me in cash

Ok, she's probably (hopefully) referring to her fitness/wellness coach business. But i will say this...she used to get up and be gone by 5:00AM to hit the gym. Lately, it's more like getting ready at about 7:00AM because she's "so tired".

Family Reunion

Finally D comes to me last night:

{D}: Hey Cindy, I have a story for you.
{Cindy} [Thinking]: Sweet! More for my blog!
{D}: So i put an ad on Craig's list to have a "platonic" dinner with someone and i got a ton of responses.
{Cindy curious how the ad read}
{D}: I really hit it off with this one guy and we were talking for two days when he asked me if i was [insert her whole maiden name here]. I was really taken aback and freaked out that he knew that. It turns out he is my cousin once removed. I am totally freaking out.
{Cindy} [Wondering]: Why is she freaking out? i thought the dinner was platonic - what have they been talking about that she would be freaking out?
{D}: It's just so weird, like how did he know that was me?
{Cindy}: Did you give him your name?
{D}: Yes.

At this point, even with the blog, i couldn't listen anymore. I can't tell if she was upset that it was her cousin, upset that he realized that and cancelled dinner, or if she is sad that she lost a new potential client - er, i mean friend. In any regard, she's placing another ad.

People how many times do i have to reiterate that Craig's list is the BEST PLACE EVER to find a companion!

Give Peas a Chance

Sorry folks, i haven't had any D stories because we haven't seen each other. She seems to never be home....that is until i was counting on her to not be home. The one night that i decide to have a guest come over for a cocktail is, of course, the one night where she is home, on the couch, in PJs (at 6:00PM) and CRABBY!

{D}: Hey Cindy, can i talk to you about something important [sounding serious].
{Cindy}: [heavy mental sigh] Sure, what's up?
{D}: Did you smell that when you came into the house?
{Cindy}: Yes, smells like maple syrup
{D}: It's been like that since Saturday - S really needs to clean up his messes right after he cooks
{Cindy}: Hmmmm, i'll have to talk to him
{D}: Please do, it's not fair to the rest of us

Now, the kitchen wasn't perfect, but he had done his dishes...does anyone know how to get the smell of syrup out of the air? And why is that sooooo offensive...better that than fish or fresh veggies, right?

My point is this...i have no point. She hasn't given me any good material in weeks. I think i'm going to be forced to have a conversation with her soon.

On another note....she shouldn't talk, her toothpaste has gooped up the medicine cabinet and is leaking on to some of my stuff, her kids leave tiny finger prints all over the chrome of my couch, there was some Elmo doll left in the living room, and my dinning room table has some sort of sticky on it that could be syrup or kid sludge. Not to mention that there are 10 desserts in the fridge - literally, taking up the bulk of the room - i guess when you workout every day you can do that.

UGH....

The Hard is What Makes it Good!

Sorry all, i was on a mini vacation and wasn't around D enough to hear anything stupid...but, not to be let down the first time i talked to her once i got home i found out she would not disappoint.

I'm walking in the house in the afternoon and all i hear is D being loud - go figure....this is what she's saying.

{D}:Wait, wait...that's too hard!

'nuff said i think. Turns out it was one of those eletrical shock massage deals for her back and her friend was adjusting the settings....so i couldn't let this go and joked with her about it later that day to which she further says....

{D}: I'm going to have to end it with that guy because he has issues now with me. I've been upfront with him that if he wants to see me during the day, he is going to have to pay for a babysitter.
{Cindy}[Action]:Almost spitting out tea
{Cindy}: You make him PAY for your babysitter? [now wondering what they do that he would be willing to pay for this....so i have to ask]
{D}: Yeah....and so he tells me...i don't understand why i would have to pay for a sitter if i'm giving you the massage and i get nothing in return.
{Cindy}: Wait.....what?!?!?! He pays the sitter AND gives YOU the massage???? You know what? Don't tell me anymore....just keep the sperm out of the spa and off my couch!
{Cindy}[Walking away laughing]
{D}[Yelling from the other room]: I'm not a slut!
{Cindy}: I never said slut!...i said Schlut!

Ummmmm......that's all i can say really is "ummmmmmm". On a side note...S has started locking his door at night upstairs. Poor guy!

When the Cat's Away the Mouse.......

So I'm going to Vegas for a few days this weekend and I just let the roomies know this fact just as an FYI.

{D}: Oh, you're going to be gone all weekend?!?!? Then i can have.......[walks away].

As much as i appreciate the quick conversation with D it's the first time that it would probably beneift me to listen to her talk.....HAVE WHAT?!?!? More sex? A Three way? A Party? Book Club? Bible Study? What? I'm afraid to leave now.

I Spy With My Little Eye

I come home last night and S stops me in the kitchen to tell me a story about earlier that evening.
{S}: Hey Cindy, i have to tell you something funny.
{Cindy}: What's up?
{S}: When i walked into the house tonight [which is directly into the kitchen] all i saw was a flash of flesh running out of the kitchen.
{Cindy}: Wha?!?!?!
{S}: Yeah, i think D was doing dishes naked....in high heels.....
{Cindy}[Action]: Looking over noticing that the kitchen curtains in front of the huge garden window were still wide open.
{Cindy}: She was doing the dishes??? in heels? Naked?
{S}: Yep
{Cindy & S}: Laughing our asses off!

My notes: I showed my therapist all these posts and she asked if D was a prostitute. LOL. Quite honestly, i'm i was just happy she was doing her dishes. Although her rent WAS paid early.....hmmmmm.

Truth or Truth

{D}: Hey Cindy
{Cindy}: Hey D
{D}: I just want to say that i love it here, i can be myself and do what i want....do you think i'm a slut?
{Cindy}:Nope, i think you're a schlut...there's a difference
{D}: Shut up [slapping my arm], you don't really think that do you?
{Cindy}:Ummmmmmm
{D}:OMG, you're so funny.[Walking Away]
{Cindy} [Action]: Standing there thinking, did she really have to ask if i meant it?

She's so clueless....it's amazing to watch - i keep popcorn on hand now!

Me Love You Long Time

So, this is something i just overheard last night on the way to the bathroom. Not sure if someone was in the room with her or not, maybe on the phone. Whoever it was, she was trying to convince them that she is not a schlut. I think i'm going to look into getting a toilet in my bedroom.

{D}: .....so then, there i was standing there naked and then they ALL [i have to interject here....."ALL"] just threw my clothes at me and drove off. So then my Mom was like what's wrong? and I said nothing [is she still naked when Mom asks?] then from then on at the skating rink i was known as a slut [ya think?].

Now, i would've normally felt bad about that situation because it sounds cruel and potentially a crime, but.....she was laughing about it like it was some sort of accomplishment and that she had went with them voluntarily with the intention of being a schlut and then wonders why people think she was. The other part is that she was telling this other person this story and i don't think it was "are you loud guy" or "the photographer". I hope her bedposts are made of wood so she can keep count.

Moral of the story....If you're going to be a schlut, just embrace it and be it and be proud of it. The innocent act is just making things more complex. She love you long time!

Say Cheese! Pleeeeeeeassssse

Roommate Log update from yesterday. D slept with the photographer! hmmmmmmm go figure. He said next time he's in town they should go out to dinner. LOL